Stranded
by lovelyfrances
Summary: Edward cannot shake his desire for his personal assistant, a certain Ms. Swan. After a turn of events, he is presented with an opportunity to share how he really feels. Rated M for mature reasons lemony goodness and adult themes - AU, Slightly OOC, AH.
1. Prologue

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**This idea floated in...enjoy. Please review if you feel compelled. :)**

**I own no rights to anything Twilight - all are ownership of SM.**

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**Prologue**

_I am going to die._

The thought rolled through my head over and over as the waves crashed against my Jeanneau – hard. With the shit ton of poor choices that I made in a given day, I deserved to die.

Firstly, sailing without checking the god damned weather first. What kind of novice does that?

Secondly, venturing out through the Rosario Strait without one trace of an idea as to where I was going. Idiot.

Thirdly, and most important, putting an innocent life at risk.

I checked all of my guilty counts one by one as I held onto the helm with all of my might, steering through the rain that pelted against my skin. The sun had set and with the weather at its most offensive point, I couldn't see anything but the rotating light in the distance. Another swell crashed against my yacht, spilling water onto the deck. Panic started to creep up in the form of a shiver that radiated in my spine.

"Edward!"

Uselessly wiping the water from my face, I turned toward the voice.

"Head toward the lighthouse!"

I turned away and whimpered to myself.

_You're going to die, Cullen. And you deserve to_.

I shook my head.

_Pull yourself together, you dumb fuck._

The voice cried out again. Such a beautiful voice.

"Edward! Please…the lighthouse is our only chance!"

I froze. I can't explain why I didn't do anything – at all – but I did nothing. I continued blankly steering as if I had nothing to lose. I felt a chilled hand on my face, pulling my line of sight so that I only saw her. Her dark, soaked hair was sticky against her dripping face. Her rich brown eyes held both resolve and fear. I wanted to apologize to this innocent angel, but nothing would come out.

"Oh god, Edward. You're in shock. Can you hear me?"

Her skin felt nice against mine. I leaned into her touch and sighed as I floated away from this hell that I was responsible for. I knew something wasn't right. She was so smart.

"Jesus. Edward, I need you to steer. I can't do this by myself! Wake the fuck up!"

Another swell slammed against the starboard side, separating her skin from mine. Her eyes fell further and further away from me. I heard the voice cry out for me as I slipped away, weightless in the air. My legs were fluid, moving freely as if there was no gravity.

I fell against something hard, something painful. I felt the warmth seep out of my head as the salty cold enveloped me. The lifejacket tried valiantly to keep my afloat, but my consciousness was waning.

The darkness swiftly took me. Although, before it did, one though flitted through my mind. A prayer. More like pleading, bargaining.

_Please God. Please help let my angel live. _

_My Bella.___


	2. Edward F'ing Cullen

**Here's chapter one - just for you, my dearies. Enjoy. Reviews may or may not result in a sexually frustrated Edward Cullen at your doorstep. **

**Mature readers only. All things are property of SM. **

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**Chapter 1:**

I set the alarm on my mobile phone to go off at six o'clock that day. Sure as hell, it did. I hated that thing. The fact that I spent nearly $500 on a goddamned phone prevented me from tossing it, hard, against my earth toned wall. It was July and I wasn't ready to pick up a new phone this year after a brutal sheetrock assault. Again.

Groaning, I rubbed my legs against my expensive sheets as I came to. I blindly grabbed my phone, resisted the urge to draw my arm back and release, disabled the alarm and immediately reached for my cigarettes.

_I need a drink_, I thought.

A disapproving chuckle spilled out as I simultaneously exhaled the harsh smoke from my lungs. My life must really be horrid if the sun has barely made an appearance in the sky and I'm fantasizing of a Jameson and ginger ale.

_Stop complaining, rich boy. _

I held my cigarette casually between my pointer and middle finger in my left hand and flung the heavy blanket off of my body with my right. Sliding out of bed, I made my way to my bedroom window overlooking Lake Washington. I took another drag and flicked the ashes. The sun cast a yellow tint across the bay; I cursed the sun for rising.

_Brooding much, Edward?_

I shook my head to clear the condemnatory thoughts that bombarded me every time I woke and as I drifted asleep. My usual morning pep talk was due. The filter from my smoke was all that remained as I savored the final pull, putting out the cigarette afterwards.

"Alright Edward," I said to myself. "As Jasper would say, cowboy up and stop being such a damn pussy."

I made my way to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Turning toward the mirror, I recited the same bullshit as I did every morning, hoping that someday I'd believe half of what I said. My body squarely faced the bathroom mirror as I stared into my eye's reflection. I inhaled slowly.

"I am the youngest, most successful executive producer in Seattle. I have credibility at the age of twenty-eight, I know my shit, and no one can stand against me. I am completely in control of my emotions and my actions."

My voice quivered at the end of my last affirmation, as always. I knew that there was only one exception to that rule – and she had no idea. I cleared my throat and started again.

"I am COMPLETELY in control of my emotions and actions. No one controls me. I am powerful, creative, and marketable. Women want me, guys want to be me, and I am second to none," my brow scowled in determination, fists clenched trying valiantly to convince me of what was said. I glanced down in a moment of weakness, staring at my feet. My eyes rose slowly, meeting the reflection again. Heat billowed around me from the shower. I stood a while staring at myself in the mirror watching the fog creep across it. The glass was covered completely, masking my image. Desperately, I finished in a whisper.

"I am Edward Fucking Cullen."

And I was miserable.

* * *

I was on the phone with Tokyo for the whole twenty minutes on my way into work. My head began to hurt from focusing on understanding my contact's accent the whole damn time. After I finally ended the call, I was pulling into the underground garage to park my car. I cut off the engine and gripped the steering wheel.

Leaning my head back against the seat, I spoke only to myself, "Today's a big day. Don't fuck it up, Edward."

I made haste making my way into the 1201 3rd Ave Tower and to the main elevator. Entering it quickly, I pressed number twenty and waited for the doors to close. The doors swung open quickly and her scent hit me hard.

As usual.

A strawberry and freesia infusion permeated my very being, triggering my mouth to water and my skin to tingle. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply to allow her to fill me as much as it could, but knowing that it would never be enough.

Papers rustled which caused my hooded eyes to open reluctantly. She stood before me, her back to me, rifling through the file cabinet against the wall across from the elevator. Her long, brown hair hung over her shoulder in loose waves; her flawless curves were hugged almost sinfully by a tan pencil skirt and navy top. Modest brown heels set off her tones calves and the color of her shirt enhanced her already lovely skin.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen," she exhaled breathily without turning around, oozing sexuality and grace. Bending over at the hip to search through a lower drawer, I found myself thrusting my hands through my hair roughly and biting back a groan. "Your latte is on your desk and your nine o'clock rescheduled for next week."

My ogling continued. If I didn't exhibit some form of self control, I would soon either embarrass myself with my obvious, bulging problem or get slapped in the face after mauling the poor girl. I swallowed, trying to remember what it is that she said in the first place.

_It's a miracle you get anything done with that perfect, soft silhouette in your line of sight. _

_All. _

_Day._

_Long. _

I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts away.

"Mr. Cullen?"

I looked toward the angelic voice and the concern on her face. That heavenly face. She stepped toward me and brushed a stray hair from her forehead.

"Mr. Cullen? Are you feeling alright? Do you need something?"

My mind worked quickly through all of the responses that came to me:

_God, yes – I want you. Only you. _

Nope.

_Please marry me. _

Next.

_Besides the fact that I'm irrevocably in love with you, I fantasize about making you mine in every way possible._

Damn.

Finally, one came to mind. I shook my head from left to right and changed the subject icily, "Would you check the weather, please?"

Her cheeks flushed crimson and she swallowed nervously. I kept my indifferent façade up, but inwardly I fantasized about her flushing with thoughts of me. She recovered quickly.

"I already did," she responded confidently – of course she already checked. "They're saying that there might be a pretty intimidating storm coming through. Would you like me to reschedule with Ms. Hale?"

My fanciful thoughts of Bella and her unmatched observation abilities were interrupted with the harsh realization of my job and life.

Rosalie Hale – the newest and hottest pop sensation that I had signed and Edward Cullen flavor of the past few months. She was horribly rude, bitchy as hell, dumb as fuck and exactly what everyone in my business expects me to be with. My boss had casually commented that she'd make a great first wife and Rosalie hinted that she always wanted to marry someone in the industry as it would help with her credibility.

Right.

Again, I did what I was told to do – what was expected of me. I knew that Rosalie wasn't who I really wanted. What I wanted was in front of me, waiting for me to reply to a simple question.

Bella Swan.

"No, let's not reschedule. I've been through some rough weather before; I'm sure that it is not as bad as the weather people think it will be. Thanks for checking, Be…umm…Ms. Swan," I cleared my throat and smiled awkwardly.

Her cheeks seeped red underneath her skin and she looked at her adorable, brown shoes. I nodded to no one in particular and stepped past her to make my way toward my office. As I reached the handle of my office door, I calculated that she had been working for me for the last year. From the first day I laid my eyes on her, it had taken a matter of minutes to know that I was completely smitten. I considered this as I swung the door open.

"Mr. Cullen."

I turned around and saw her coming gracefully toward me. Her eyes held my gaze intensely and I drew a shaky breath. As she neared me, her scent assaulted me yet again as she began to speak, "I have worked for you now for eleven months, twelve days and fifteen minutes," she smiled shyly and continued. "If you prefer, you may call me Bella, Mr. Cullen."

Her right hand rose so that it was in my peripheral vision; she was handing me a manila folder. I wrapped my hand around the folder and accidently brushed my fingers against hers, triggering my mouth to water again. Bella's eyes sparkled brightly with some unknown emotion. Hope? Impatience? I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that my ring finger was still touching her skin and I could die a happy man as the sensation took over my sanity. Her name ran through my mind over and over as it rolled off of my lips.

"Bella."

It came out as a whisper, perhaps even a prayer. She stared intensely at me.

"Thank you, Bella."

Throughout this whole exchange, she never moved her hands once. The relentless stream of consciousness started.

_Could she feel the same pull that I do? _

_Is it possible that she wants me as much as I want her? _

_Please let her want me – she belongs with me. Only me. _

Her gaze held fast with mine during my internal debate. She was breathing heavy in unison with my own. Bella _had_ to want me. That's the only explanation. I had to find out. I stepped forward and grabbed her free hand with mine, rubbing my thumb against the top of her hand. Bella gasped, but did not flinch or waver. Now is just as good of a time as any.

"Bella, I have to know…"

_Ding. _

_Elevator door, _I thought.

Before I had time to react, finish speaking, or rip Bella into my office and have my way with her – damn the consequences – that voice sounded out.

"Hey Bella."

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**Who could it be? Stay tuned and you'll find out - I promise. Recommendation - check out my favs. There's on on there I just started reading called "This Buried Life". Amazing. AND HOT. Damn. Check it out.**


	3. Drinks, History and Creole

Chapter two - here we go. Thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter - I appreciate you stopping by! Please review again if you want some more. I've used the scientific method to conclude that more reviews begets faster story development. :)

_**Chapter 2: **_

_**Eleven months, twelve days and fourteen minutes earlier…**_

The atmosphere felt different in the office before I could figure out why. Turning out from the elevator, I made my way to my door when I saw two ladies standing there. I recognized one immediately – the company's HR director Alice stood at a meek five feet, four inches tall (with terribly high heels that served no orthopedic function) with a bright yellow fitted dress. Her shoulder length black hair was pinned back in a tousled mess.

_Oh Alice. _

I got her a job here after she graduated college as a favor to my best friend Jasper. Who would have known she would be so successful? I would never second guess her; she had this ability when it came to hiring people or finding talent…she just knew when someone would be a hit. Alice was always right, as frustrating as that may be.

The woman opposite her donned a grey business jacket and matching skirt. Her thick hair was pulled back in front, creating a cascading waterfall of chocolate down her back. And lower - her hips…her figure was out of this world. And her legs…

_Get a grip, Edward._

I cleared my throat and the ladies both looked my way. Alice smiled and the mystery woman smiled anxiously. If I thought that her backside was something to behold, her face was something else. Soft, creamy skin. Deep, pensive eyes. A mouth that held great potential. I threw a hand through my mess of hair nervously.

_Women don't make you nervous – you make women nervous. Stop being a pussy. _

I held onto my mantra and walked toward them, trying not to swagger pretentiously.

"Edward Cullen, meet Isabella Swan," Alice beamed at me knowingly before continuing. "Your new personal assistant."

My eyes widened with glee at Alice. I needed an assistant badly, but I don't know that I needed one that was so…distractingly beautiful. I glanced back at my newest direct report.

"How do you do, Mr. Cullen?" her voice was smooth and raspy – like a sexy blues singer playing on a vinyl record. Although she was not too loud, she was not self conscious either. Her quietness held a strength that I could not pinpoint. Isabella's right hand rose confidently to shake mine. My hand met hers eagerly, her palm connecting with her warm, silky skin.

Immediately, I felt uneasy. It was as if I never wanted to release her hand, as if I was complete holding onto her.

Life fucking altering.

_What the hell? _

"Umm…" I staggered, searching for something to say. Anything to say. I was lost. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Ms. Swan."

"Do call me Bella, Mr. Cullen," that husky voice.

_Dammit._

_I'm in love with Bella Swan and I've known her for half of a god damned minute._

* * *

Every day that passed, Bella was in my line of sight and permeated my state of mind. I could think of nothing else but Bella. Initially, I was so awkward that I'm certain that she thought I was unstable. The part that frustrated me more than anything was that she got to me.

No one gets to me.

_Until a gorgeous brunette with amazing legs waltzed into your life. You damn sap._

The more I tried to act normally around her, the more I'd stumble. The more I stumbled, the more she smiled at me with that beautiful mouth. And the more I saw that stunning smile, the more likely it would be for me to run into a wall, trip over a trash can or simply stutter ridiculously.

My lingering memories were interrupted by movement; Bella's silky skin slid out of my grasp as she moved toward the elevator doors. She smiled brilliantly as he stalked towards her.

"Bon jou, Madmwazèl Bella," he squeezed out slowly, a little too slow for my taste. "How is mwen cheri this fine morning?"

Laurent Dubois, my most recent client. His sound was a mix of Creole blues and reggae, but his most recent album brought him to light with the mainstream crowd – thanks to me. Laurent was famous as hell and a playboy to boot. He hailed from Louisiana and was highly intelligent; he held multiple degrees from the University of Texas at Austin and publicly devoted his time to developing wild life refuges.

Bottom line, he was a professional panty dropper; Laurent had been with more women than I thought was even humanly possible. He was practically irresistible to women, it seemed. I couldn't give a fuck what he did in his own time, but the fact that he came waltzing into my office sweet-talking my girl was a bit over the line.

Bella reached Laurent and he grabbed both of her hands in his, leaning forward to kiss her slowly on the cheek.

"Damn, cheri. You look more delectable every time I'm graced with your presence."

She smiled, but did not blush. I grimaced.

"Laurent, you have such a way with words. To what do we owe this surprise visit?" Laurent made advances at Bella every single time he was here, which is why I made certain that all visits were set up when I was also present. I didn't trust him at all if Bella were to be by herself. Something about him…

"I came to chat with mwen patron, lovely. And to see if you were available on the twentieth?"

"What's the twentieth?" she questioned, releasing his hands at the same time.

_Good girl_, I thought.

"I received an invitation to the 'Save the Music' banquet in Los Angeles. I would love nothing more, belle Bella, to have you on mwen arm," at that, he reached for her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her skin softly. She pulled her hand away as fast as tact would allow and glanced nervously at me. Her eyes held a request, but I was uncertain of what. Waiting for me to say she shouldn't or should? Bella was certainly free to do as she willed, but damn did I want to have a say in the matter. I thought quickly about how I could say that she couldn't go as it would break ethical rules business-wise, but I was the biggest fucking hypocrite around. Like I could say anything.

I held her gaze and pleaded silently for her to say no, to say she would have no one else. Only me. The silence was thick, heavy with an unknown meaning.

"Mesye Edward, you also received the invitation, did you not? I spotted your anmore, madmwazèl Hale earlier this week and she made mention that you would be going together."

I glared at Laurent. Of course Rosalie would blab that to him. Before I had a chance to speak, Bella turned to my client. "Laurent, I acquiesce."

_Shut the fuck up. _

I was pretty certain that my surprise was apparent with my obvious death-glare and clenched jaw. Immediately, I turned around to my office and slammed the door. Hard.

My back hit the door as I leaned against it, sliding down fast. I threw the manila envelope that I was clutching across the room and dug my fingers in my hair with fury.

_Why are you letting her get to you? You have your own girlfriend; she can do what she likes with her life._

_Because you love her. _

_And there's no possible way that she would ever want you. _

* * *

Why I was so hammered off of vodka tonics was beyond me. Not really beyond me, but rather out of reach.

Five months prior, I was sitting against the wall outside of the Whiskey Bar enjoying a cigarette as I drunk dialed the sixth person in my contact list. My finger was pressed against "J" as I tried to call Jasper, hoping that he or Alice would come to pick me up. Before I called, the bartender barged out of my favorite watering hole's entrance, throwing out an unruly patron that was making a scene. My fingers fumbled absently against my Droid as I took in the sight in front of me.

As the old drunk was thrown out onto the snowy street, I heard a small, female voice coming through from my phone.

Alice. I must have called her.

I brought the mobile to my ear, speaking loudly, "Alice! What the hell is up, sistah?"

"Why are you calling so late? And who is this?" the small, unsure voice said on the other line.

"Robert Frost. As usual, I've called to share my inner longings of a certain brunette goddess," I slurred. It wasn't unusual for me to call Jasper or Alice, whoever answered, to spill my inner anguish and all-consuming passion I held for Bella.

Silence was on the other end.

I strained to hear what she spoke next, as it came out as a whisper, "What were you going to say?"

I inhaled deeply as I thought of her deep, brown eyes that seemed to be filled constantly with an unspoken zeal. Her lips, full and inviting, that uttered encouraging words on a daily basis. Although I was completely intoxicated, my love for this woman was clear and my words came out, full of emotion.

"You give me the pleasure of your eyes,  
face, flesh as we pass,  
You take of my beard, breast, hands,  
in return,

I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you  
when I sit alone or wake at night, alone  
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again  
I am to see to it that I do not lose you."

The voice on the other end of the phone gasped, "Mr. Cullen." I was confused for a moment as she continued. "You quoted Walt Whitman, not Frost."

SHIT. With fuckin' capital letters.

I breathed out her name, terrified. "Ms. Swan…"

Just breathing sounded on the other end. I glanced at my phone to see Bella's name, shining brightly on the display.

"Where are you?" Bella sighed.

I was stunned. "The Whiskey Bar. Off of 2nd avenue."

Her response was quick. "I'm on my way."

The line disconnected.

I stood quickly and began pacing. My fists clenched, unclenched, and repeated that pattern as I paced continuously.

"Fuck! Fuckity fuck!" I yelled, turned inside of the bar and ordered a shot of whatever whiskey. I didn't give a damn.

Three shots on top of my vodka tonics and the room was spinning as I sat on my barstool. Suddenly, strawberries floated through the air and hit my wavering senses, pulling me down and grounding me on my stool.

"Mr. Cullen," she spoke and slid her fingers around my forearm.

My right mind was pushing to say something profound, something meaningful. Something that sounded like I wasn't so goddamn drunk.

"Helloooo, Ms. Swan! You've come to join the festivities," I motioned with my hand around the empty bar and a couple of the patrons glanced at me with annoyed expressions.

Fail.

I turned toward Bella and was, as always, not disappointed. Her hair was a tousled mess, as if I woke her from a deep sleep. She was wearing a red fitted plaid collared shirt, dark denim jeans tucked into some brown Sorels and her adorably overly fluffy down jacket.

"Mr. Cullen, you're drunk. I'm here to bring you home." She sighed, almost aggravated.

"Okey dokey, pretty lady."

_Dammit, Edward! Just shut the fuck up!_

I moved to jump off of the barstool, but stumbled and fell awkwardly, grabbing onto anything to keep me upright. I hit the floor anticipating the only impact was on my backside until a small body landed on my chest. Her hair spilled across my face as she sprawled about my body. Unwillingly, my left hand wrapped around her hip and my right splayed possessively on the small of her back. She groaned and squirmed, which did little for the desire I tried to conceal from her.

Bella lifted her head and stared at me, humor dancing across her face.

"Are you okay?" she said, trying to hold back her giggles.

I sighed, brushing her hair out of my face, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I am now."

_Fucking alcohol. _

She blushed profusely. "Let's get you home, Mr. Cullen."

Bella helped pull me up and threw down some cash for my tab. She turned back toward me and lifted my arm around her small shoulders, assisting me with the should-be easy task of walking. I was brought to an old orange truck and I leaned against it as she fumbled with the locks.

"What a pile of shit."

She fumed and turned abruptly towards me, "It's my pile of shit. I'll have you know, Mr. Cullen, that this is the best running vehicle I've ever owned. It's paid for, keeps me warm and gets me to where I have to go. So maybe, since I'm driving you home at two o'clock in the morning in the cold and snow, you could treat my vehicle and me with some respect, sir."

I shut my mouth. I pissed her off.

_Way to go, Casanova. _

I climbed into the truck's cab and slumped against the seat, proceeding to fill my mind with thoughts of self-condemnation as I effectively passed out.

I woke to Bella standing me up against her truck, cursing at me or the situation – I wasn't sure which. I was outside of my house.

"How did you know where I," hiccup, "lived?"

She grinned sarcastically, "Isn't it my job to know everything about you?"

I smiled back and slid to the left against the truck.

"You don't know everything about me. There are some secretssss…"

She sighed out a soft noise, wrapping her arm around my waist and securing my arm around her shoulder again.

_Enjoy this_, I thought. _This is the closest that you'll ever get._

I gripped her shoulder as we neared my front door, rubbing small circles against her thick coat. I grabbed my keys from my pocket, clumsily holding them against the lock for longer than Bella's patience would tolerate as she snatched them from me. Unlocking my front door swiftly, I staggered in to my living room, shedding clothing along the way. I ended up collapsing on my couch with nothing but my jeans on. I glanced up, catching Bella staring at my naked chest. Warmth spread through me and I smiled at her; she bit her lip and bent over to pick up my discarded clothing.

She straightened up with my clothes in hand, folding them carefully. She glanced my way, my stare catching her eye and she met my gaze, seemingly biting back a smile. I yawned, ending the eye contact as the alcohol was pulling me quickly to a deep sleep.

"Ms. Swan, why are you so good to me?" I yawned again.

Her eyes glazed over wistfully, "Because you pay me to be good to you, Mr. Cullen."

"Hmm. It's not in your job description to pick up your drunken boss and bring him home. Why did you do it?" I repositioned so that I was on my side with an uncomfortable throw pillow under my head. The insistent desire to sleep almost had me in its clutches as my blinking slowed.

Bella walked gently toward me, reached for the blanket that settled against the back of my couch and covered me with it. She sat on the coffee table as her hands tucked the blanket around my body, securing me from the cool air. Her hand skimmed my own and I grabbed it. My eyes bore into hers and the tension mounted.

"Why?" I begged.

She cleared her throat nervously and her eyes held a hidden emotion that I could not place. Bella was fighting with something, but what it was, I didn't know. She leaned forward and hovered over me, placing her other hand against the back of the couch to steady herself. My breathing spiked and she exhaled her sweet breath across my face. But then, something similar to resolve seeped from deep within her as she leaned back and looked away.

"I can't."

Although her answer was cryptic, I assumed its meaning. She didn't want me, and I didn't blame her.

_It's time to move on, Edward. _

The urge for rest was too strong as my eyes closed reluctantly, allowing the slumber to take over. My grip around her hand loosened as the room gradually drifted black.

When I awoke the next morning, I search the house for my cigarettes and some aspirin. I reached the kitchen in search of something to dull the pain in my head when I saw a simple sheet of paper featuring a familiar, scribbled handwriting. I inhaled sharply as I began to read.

"Come to me in my dreams, and then  
By day I shall be well again.  
For then the night will more than pay  
The hopeless longing of the day."

I crumpled the paper in my hand and clutched it to my heart. What the hell was I supposed to believe now?

* * *

"Longing" by Matthew Arnold and "To a Stranger" by Walt Whitman were quoted. Also, SM owns all characters and rights. I just play with them.

Drop me a line - I'd love to hear from you!


	4. Elation and Heartbreak

**Alright - this is a shorter chapter for my lovely readers. Things will pick up shortly and I will be on vacation for the next couple of days. Let me know what you think is to come! I love some of your anticipation - and reviews. :)**

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**Chapter 3: **

My need for something smooth to calm me was overwhelming. I could not reach for a drink seeing as I just arrived at work. Instead, I made haste to my stereo and pulled my mp3 player out of my pocket, docked it, and played the first acceptable piece that I could find. One of Chopin's nocturnes sweetly filled my ears and I drew in a shaky breath, attempting to get my nerves under control.

"She was just being polite," I mumbled to myself. "It would only be appropriate for her to attend, if asked."

Turning towards the large window to take in Seattle's unmatched view, I pressed my hands against the windowpane. The clouds were rolling in gradually from the west, creating an eerie scene in the sky. My head nodded to the whimsical rhythm of the music, simultaneously tapping my fingers on the wall as if I were playing it myself.

I could feel the internal battle beginning to rage as my false confidence suddenly bubbled up from deep in my mind, overtaking my consciousness.

_You're taking Rosalie Hale to this goddamn gala. Your girlfriend. _

I grimaced at the thought.

_You know…the_ _girl that every man and some women would sacrifice their first born child if that's what it would take to JUST see her naked. The girl that punched her stylist in the face in front of the paparazzi just for more press. _

"Don't remind me," I groaned.

_You obviously need to be reminded of who you are and who people expect you to be. You must know that someone like you is supposed to be with someone like her._

The true Edward Cullen often fought for dominance when I knew that the perceived Edward Cullen was what was expected. At that time, the perceived me was winning.

I barely whispered in reply, "I don't know who I want to be anymore."

The insecure, pressuring voice pointedly cornered me in my mind_._

_Everyone wants to be you, Edward. Everyone wants what you have, what you are. What more can you want?_

My exasperated heart finally exploded in a true, beautiful, clear word.

"Bella."

The certainty of what I wanted and what I realized that I could not have left me both thrilled and heartbroken. I dropped my right hand to my pocket to fish out my wallet. Inside held my one thread of hope: a crumpled note loaded with meaning.

The only thing of hers that I had.

Those words…

My door opened and Alice barged into my office mouth first, as usual. She spoke a mile a minute on her mobile phone, rambling on about rescheduling an appointment of hers while reaching for the foam basketball on top of my desk. Alice and Jasper's gift to me when I started this job was the basketball and hoop affixed to the back of my door; Alice ended up using it more than I did.

"Great. Is there anything else that I need to know?" her sweet, bubbly voice sang out as she attempted a ridiculous looking hook shot. She missed. "Fantastic. See you then."

Before Alice ended the call, I carefully folded the worn out note and placed it in my wallet. I was just putting my wallet back in my pocket when Alice turned toward me, appraising me curiously. Then, she skipped toward the ball on the ground to pick it up.

"And how is my favorite angst-ridden friend this lovely morning?" She raised an eyebrow and chest passed the ball at me as hard as she could. I caught the ball one handed.

"Peachy." My voice dripped with sarcasm, tossing the ball from hand to hand.

Alice breathed in deep, "Edward. What happened now?"

"Nothing." I lied petulantly. I could literally feel my face drop and my lower lip slip out. I could go pro when it came to my brooding tendencies.

"Right, Edward. Spill." She reached out to grab the ball in my left hand and I raised it up, out of her reach.

"It's nothing…" She jumped toward the ball and stepped back to glare at me.

"Edward Cullen. Seriously? You're going to lie? To ME?" she laughed. Alice was right; she'd get it out of me eventually – one way or another. My attention waned and my arm lowered, effectively allowing her to snatch the ball from my hand.

I groaned low and loud to over exaggerate my annoyance with her while Alice rolled her eyes and tapped her foot, waiting impatiently.

"Well, Laurent came in."

"I know. He just left." Alice flippantly replied, taking a jump shot. Complete air ball.

"Really? I thought that he wanted to see me."

Alice glanced out the window, "Yeah. Apparently something came up and he ended up leaving."

"Mother fucker. I knew it," I seethed.

Her gaze snapped back in my direction, "What the hell? I've never seen you so worked up so early in the morning."

I began pacing across my office, shoving my hands through my hair.

"Laurent came in with the guise of seeing me. First thing that the dirty bastard does is stroll in with eyes for Bella. I could have ripped his eyes out then and there." I whispered lividly, trying hard to keep my voice down for fear of Bella hearing me. Alice kept an eye on me while walking back to pick up the lonely basketball.

Both hands were filled with my bronze locks as I abused my innocent hair, creating the signature Edward Cullen "Just Been Fucked" hair. Who would have thought it ended up that way because I was too much of a pansy when it came to a fucking girl.

"So Laurent grabs her hands, kisses them and starts talking about that damn charity next weekend. He turns to her and has the goddamn balls to ask my girl…"

"You mean your personal assistant." Alice says without flinching.

"Right," I breathe out.

_Thanks for reminding me. _

"Anyways, he asks her to be his date. HIS date. She turned to me and just waited, staring at me. Waiting for something."

Her heartfelt stare stuck in my mind and I lost my train of thought. I could feel Alice's questioning gaze on me and I continued.

"Before I could say anything, he says that I'm going with Rosalie. Without a second thought, she turns and accepts. She fucking accepts!" My soft whispers are getting louder and louder, triggering Alice to rise from my desk and stand before me. Her small hand cradled my face as she waited for me to calm down.

"Edward," I looked her in the eye as she cautiously began.

"I understand why you are upset. However, remember that you are dating someone within the company and Bella can do what she pleases. And you have no right to be upset since you did NOT invite her yourself."

I glared at Alice as she continued.

"You have a big day today. You're taking your biggest clients out on your yacht after lunch and you don't have time to think about this…shit. Now, please put on your big boy underwear and stop crying like a pussy? You'll never get her if you're crying all of the time."

A bitter laugh seeped out, "I'm not crying."

"Right." She sighed, handing me the ball. "Either way, you look like a fucking pussy. Please reign in the estrogen, would ya?"

I nodded. Alice headed toward the door as Pergolesi's Violin Concerto sounded out, cheering me slightly. I turned toward my desk and was encouraged, feeling good about the day ahead. I held the ball up with my right hand and guided it with my left, following through as I pushed it toward the hoop.

_Swish. _

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**Please do review. :) I hear it improves the ozone or something ridiculous like that. **


	5. It's Hard Enough Already

**Wow - Please forgive the delay in updating this story. Here's a little something, just for you. Much love to those who stick with me. **

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_My eyes scanned the contract before me as I scratched my name in an elegant scribble across the bottom of the paper. Another successful client signed, another notch on my career's bed post. My pen returned to its rightful place in my desk drawer and I leaned back in my chair, stretching my body as best as I could given the ergonomic sitting arrangement. _

_With my eyes closed, my hands roughly rubbed over my face in an attempt to wake myself up and distract me from the train of thought that constantly crept into my mind. Her face, her skin, just…she was all encompassing. I could think of nothing but her, nothing but my want for her. _

_My need. _

_The fact that we've been dancing around each other for nearly a year is a prime example of the true Edward Cullen: passive, creative and a fucking scared emo-punk that spends every waking moment pining over the desire of his heart. Masochistic in nature, he will parade what he yearned for before him day in and day out, not tasting. Not sampling. Just watching. _

_Wanting. _

_The stark contrast between that and the perceived Edward were alarming: certain, decisive and did what was expected of him. Perceived Edward was the one that the media wanted and the senior executives of his company adored. He was a marketable cash cow; his looks and ability to read people were unmatched and he knew what everyone wanted, and did it for them. _

_Perceived Edward and True Edward were both fighting for dominance, like always. If only there could be peace. _

_I realized that I couldn't sit in the office any longer. _

_I stood frantically and stormed toward my door, pulling it open. _

_As the door swung toward me, a soft, alluring figure fell backwards. Her balance against the door was completely lost as she stumbled backwards holding a large stack of folders, papers and a pen nestled between her perfect, white teeth. Rich, brown hair flew about as she tipped in slow motion, my senses finally alert as I reached for her forcefully, attempting to save her from a possibly painful fall. I crouched somewhat, reaching my hands out to cushion her fall against me. _

_She slowed and landed at a strange angle in which I held her behind her back and neck, stopping from falling further. If we were to have been dancing, this would have appeared to be a graceful dip of sorts, a romantic tease. _

_Her eyes held surprise and embarrassment as she realized what just occurred, finally locking her gaze with my own. Bella's skin flushed dark, so tantalizingly red. She tried to speak, but the pen between her teeth muffled whatever she wanted to say to a small squeak. _

_Without tremendous effort, I rearranged her so that my left hand was free and my right cradled her close to my body. In all honesty, I was not ready to release her from my hold. It was the first time that I felt complete in, well, ever. _

_My fingers delicately removed the pen from her teeth, placed it in my breast pocket and brushed a stray hair away from her forehead. _

"_Are you okay, Bella?" _

_She swallowed and nodded. _

_Pulling her tighter yet, wrapping my left arm around her waist, I stood her up in front of me. My arms were still securely around her, the files and folders the only thing separating our bodies. Her breathing increased, a steadily quickening breath, and her blush remained constant from when she fell through my door. _

_My traitorous thumb swayed against the clothed small of her back, imagining what feeling her skin against mine would be like. I sighed deep and louder than I anticipated, uncomfortable as it most certainly sounded like an uncontrolled groan. _

_Her eyes burned, her tongue danced swiftly across her lips, moistening them and threatening my barely contained control. Her chest heaved suddenly as her control, similarly appearing to be barely contained, slipped. _

"_You called me Bella, Mr. Cullen," she immediately swallowed, smiling. "It's about time." _

_I cleared my throat at the admission and I was embarrassed again at how it sounded out like a wanton moan. Bella tipped her head in curiosity and dropped her eyes to the stacks of paper between us. I could barely see a smile playing on her cheeks. _

_Much to my dismay, she stepped away from me, gripping the files haphazardly in her arms. Her heeled foot swung behind the door, effectively closing it, the lock clicking as it shut. My attention on the door waned as I realized that Bella slithered out of my grasp and was walking to my desk. Setting the files down in a muddled pile atop of my desk, she turned to me equipped with a cool, game face, revealing little, and I braced myself for what was next; truly, it could go badly. A small voice in my psyche piped up, suggesting that this also could go very well. _

_I stepped back against my closed door, waiting for her move with bated breath. _

_I felt vulnerable. Trapped. Completely lost in her dark chocolate eyes. _

_It could have been minutes or hours. _

_I'm not certain. _

_Finally she moved toward me, faster than I would have thought. Bella's steps were purposeful and her face remained stoic. Although she was swift, the time it took to reach me happened frame by frame, almost in slow motion. _

_Her hair swayed, left to right. _

_Hips moved adroitly. _

_Her legs walking to me, hypnotizing me. _

_Lips pursed casually, a treasure of unknown desire and heavenly whispers. _

_I swallowed and closed my eyes; my nerves switched to high alert and were practically alive. _

"_Edward."_

_My eyelids rose in shock. I searched my memory as swiftly as I could, trying to find when, if ever, she called me by my first name. I could not recall. I had little time to specifically sift through my mind for this information when something warm and soft pushed against my lips. A sharp inhale and a desperate moan exited my lungs and throat, echoed by a similar sound coming from Bella. _

Jesus Christ.

_That was the hottest sound I have ever been privileged enough to hear and will ever hear. _

_I stilled for a long moment, basking in the euphoria of her lips touching my own. Her skin was as smooth and subtle as a rose petal, tickling my senses. _

_Her lips pressed harder, more urgent against my own, pleading for my participation. I snapped to attention and crashed my lips against hers, tangling my fingers into her silken locks of hair. Lust, a certain blanket of heat, flashed through me as she countered my move by gripping the sides of my jacket, wrapping it around her wrists and pushing her body flush against my own. _

_I opened my mouth to her and gently sucked her lower lip between mine, tasting her lip with my tongue. Bella moaned in response, deepening our kiss further by opening her mouth, taking my bottom lip between hers. _

_I scowled in concentration, determined on not going completely Neanderthal on her. Our tongues finally touched, tentatively to start. The spark ignited and spread, gradually increasing from a manageable want to an uncontrollable thirst. A thirst that could only be quenched by the goddess before me. _

_My Bella. _

_She released her mouth from my own and found my weakness, leaving slow, breathy kisses from my jaw to behind my ear. My hands fell and wrapped around her waist and lower back, pulling her against me, unembarrassed by the strain she would most certainly feel through my slacks. _

_Bella groaned unabashedly, loud and needy. _

"_God Edward. Do you know how much I've wanted you? How long I've watched you, waiting for you?" she breathed against my ear, taking my earlobe between her teeth. My eyes rolled in the back of my head as my fingers possessively sank into her skin. _

"_Yes," I groaned, dipping my head to her neck and firmly palming her ass. _

_Apparently, Bella liked to talk. Absolutely nothing could sound sexier. Nothing. _

_She tipped her head back, granting access to my lips and tongue as they danced across her alabaster skin. _

"_I have fantasized about this for so long, Edward," her fingers found purchase in my hair, tugging it. "I want you so badly. Please, Edward." _

_I breathed excessively on her skin, watching the goose bumps rise. _

"_Please what?"_

_Her right leg hitched up as she tried to gain friction. I caught her leg with my hand, holding her thigh at my hip, pushing her skirt down to where her leg and body joined. Her head leaned forward and mine tipped back as our lust-induced gazes locked. _

"_Take me. Any way you want me, I'm yours. Just for fuck's sake, make me yours, Edward." _

_I smiled, "Alright, then."_

_I bent down and lifted her legs, carrying her to my desk and setting her on top of it. In a dramatic fashion, all of the contents of my desk hit the ground with the sweep of my arm. My expensive lamp, name plate and foam basketball bounced on the carpet as my desk was effectively cleared of all of its previous belongings. _

_I bit back a smile as I realized how much I always wanted to do that. _

_I looked down at Bella, her heaving chest and swollen lips begged for me to return. I bent over the desk, nestling my body between her legs, pressing against her center. She leaned back until she was laying flat and I hovered over her. _

"_No time for foreplay. Please," she bit my neck and damn, that was hot. Arching her back so her chest met mine, she moaned again. "Now, Edward." _

_Her sure hands found my belt and undid it quickly, leaving no room for interpretation on her previous statement. Pushing my pants down to my ankles, she grabbed hold of my straining cock and stroked it in a sure fashion. I couldn't hold in my groan._

"_Holy fuck."_

_My hands slid up the inside of her thigh and underneath her skirt, finally to her searing center. With little patience left, I wrapped my fingers around her skimpy panties and ripped them hard, removing the fabric from her body. She gasped as I tossed them aside and made haste entering her. _

_And shit, she was tight. _

_I was so close to losing my shit as I felt her wrapped around me. My hands found her waist as I began to pound into her, hard and deep. _

_A high pitched noise screamed in the distance, loud enough to distract me from the task at hand. I looked down at my Bella and noticed that she was fuzzy, like I was looking at her through fuzzy glasses. _

"_No," I cried aloud. "Please don't go. I may not have another shot with you."_

_Through my mind's fog, she smiled and bound my hands with her own. _

"_It won't be the last, Mr. Cullen. There will be more. Just don't be such a fucking pussy."_

The fog took over and the screech burrowed into my head, deciding to live there.

"What the fuck?" I gasped and came to, trying to find my bearings and figure out where the hell I was. Facts started crystallizing in my mind:

1. I was not in my office.

2. That noise was going to be the death of me.

3. My surroundings indicated that I was on my yacht.

4. I had the hardest, most painful erection of my entire existence. Solid and throbbing.

My overpowering, erotic dream took a moment to shake out of as I remembered that I left the office early to ready my vessel. I got done accomplishing all of my tasks early and decided to take a nap on the deck because it was so nice outside. I checked the time on my phone: three o'clock in the afternoon.

I stood and the annoying scream of a motor increased in volume and stopped seemingly next to my yacht. I looked out into the parking lot to see a small frame maneuver off of a Ducati rocket.

_There's the source of the noise,_ I thought. _Dumbass._

Wrapped in tight jeans and a simple black leather jacket, the helmet-clad rider swung long, slender legs off of the bike. Fingers met the straps around the chin of said helmet, unclasped them, and removed the helmet, setting it on the seat of the bike.

I would have turned to mind my own business, but was completely distracted by long wavy hair that fell midway down the back of this mystery rider. She unzipped her leather jacket, sliding it down her slim shoulders, revealing a simple grey t-shirt.

_No fuckin' way. _

Chocolate brown hair. Tight ass.

As she turned toward me, she smiled and waved casually.

_Bella Swan rides a motorcycle. _

I scowled and raised my eyes to the heavens, laughing bitterly.

"When I didn't think that I could get any harder…"

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**Author's Note: Well, there you have it. Next we will be spending some time observing Bella and Edward together - on a boat. What fun will ensue? Only I will know. **

**Research has confirmed that those who review are 50% more likely to ride on Edward's boat. True story. **


	6. Real vs Fake

**It's been awhile. I apologize. :) Enjoy this chapter - hopefully another one will come along shortly since I'm on vacation this week. **

**Let's do this thing.**

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**Chapter 5**

"Ahoy, Mr. Cullen!"

Her red cheeks held the evidence of the helmet that she recently removed as she skipped up onto my vessel. Bella's jacket and helmet were tucked under each of her arms, a small messenger bag bouncing off of her hip. I tried to look busy so that my recent snooze-induced porn fest wasn't written all over my face. As much as I tried, I couldn't shake the image of Bella's legs wrapped around my waist and I felt my skin warm at the thought.

To prevent her lingering stare, I nodded curtly. Bella set her riding gear on top of the cabin and got right to business.

"I've been in contact with all of your invited clients throughout the day. As of a week ago, all have confirmed for today," she brushed some windblown strands of hair behind her ear and bit her lip nervously. Bella let the silence linger heavily in the air as she contemplated her next words.

Her unease made me nervous. The only time she hesitated was when delivering displeasing news. The real Edward tried to encourage my rough, exterior persona to choose the next words carefully.

_Talk to her like a normal person, Edward. Don't freak her out more than she obviously is._

"Spit it out, Ms. Swan."

_Way to go, Mr. Darcy. _

Bella bristled and inhaled sharply, "Mr. Cullen, the only person that tentatively confirmed is Rosalie Hale." She swallowed and continued in a harsher manner than usual. "Everyone else cancelled with their concerns regarding this storm's onslaught that is expected to be here tonight. No one is going to brave the wilderness under the expected conditions – _especially_ your clients."

My true Edward shook his head in disapproval.

_You deserved that, asshole._

I sighed in agreement with myself and replied, "You mean the high maintenance pricks that I babysit."

Her posture softened and she tried to hide her smile, "Your words."

My smiled mirrored her beautiful one.

_At least I slightly recovered from my previous sub-gentleman word vomit. _

"Thank you for informing me, Ms. Swan."

She beamed and visually relaxed, turning to reach for her riding gear and re-tucked her helmet, jacket and bag underneath her arms.

"I'm just going to put these inside," Bella moved toward me slowly and I remained stationary, watching her move gracefully past.

_Dammit, she's perfect._

As she passed me, I inhaled the scent of her hair louder than I would have liked. I tried to cover for my forward behavior, "You got here early."

She turned her head toward me with her arms full, "It's the bike. I get a bit carried away when I have that thing between my legs."

My eyes widened incredulously and I swallowed, loudly. Before I could recover, Bella's eyes met mine and I watched as realization of what she had just said hit her.

"I mean…"

"I know, Ms. Swan," I tried to control my response to the humor of the moment, but a half-smile stretched across my face. Her gaze suddenly found the floor to be very interesting. I watched as crimson spread from her hairline, down her neck and past the v-cut neck of her shirt.

Bella lifted her eyes back to mine after a quiet couple of seconds. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead, bit her lip pensively. I stepped forward to remove the gap between us.

_Where the fuck did this confidence come from?_

She held my stare as I stood not a foot before her. The smell of freesia mixed with the exhaust from the Ducati was enough to fuel my late night fantasies for the rest of my life. The wind blew her hair about, strands mixing together and adhering to her skin. Bella tried in vain to position her face toward the wind to blow the insulting hair from her skin, but the powerful breeze swirled around us, mixing her tresses to a disorderly mess.

An elastic band in place around her wrist caught my attention and I removed it swiftly. Wrapping the band around my own wrist, I brushed my fingertip across her hairline to try to gather the stray strands. I ran my other hand through her thick waves and I could have sworn that I heard her moan.

_Did she just moan?_

_Shit, I think she did. _

I reveled silently at how smooth her hair felt in my fingers as I tied her hair in a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. My hands were still tangled in her hair when I looked down at Bella.

Her full bottom lip was tucked between her teeth, eyes lightly closed and head was tilted toward my own. I could hear her elevated breathing and I watched as she released her lip and licked it slowly. I gaped at her, stunned by how such a small movement drew me in so thoroughly. She was the epitome of sexy. A goddess. Bella was the exact personification of everything that I wanted.

That tongue tease caused me to lose it. My desire for her overcame me and something…unbelievable happened.

Real Edward took over.

My right hand found its way out of her hair and I traced my thumb along her jaw. Bella leaned into my touch and sighed. My left hand pushed the leather jacket tucked underneath her right arm to the floor. I wrapped that same hand around her slender waist in a gentle, yet slightly possessive manner.

I leaned in, pressing my lips chastely to her forehead. The feel of my lips on her skin was better than anything I experienced in my adult and young life. Holding in the one word I had refused to utter was impossible at that point.

So I said it.

"Bella," I whispered against her skin, so reverently.

The next thing I knew, a clash of her helmet and the thud of her messenger bag hitting the ground rang out. Sure fingers slid into my hair, tugging it and throwing my libido into overdrive. Another hand wrapped around the waist of my pants to pull me against her, effectively removing any space between my body and hers. Bella found a very comfortable home in the crook of my neck; she kissed my exposed skin slowly, seductively. I moaned without shame as my singleness of purpose was before me – against me – and I couldn't possibly die an unhappy man.

"Edward," she breathily crooned, and I came fucking undone.

My mouth covered her with a ferocity that I was completely unfamiliar with, but she answered me with equal fervor. Bella sighed loudly and I grunted as our skin touched. Her lips were soft and supple, inviting me in; slowly, her tongue brushed my own lips, drawing my own tongue out to meet hers.

_God_.

She even tasted sweet.

_Delicious_.

I wanted to consume her. Own her. I wanted her to infiltrate my senses, overwhelm me, love me. I wanted everything at that moment and I was willing to give anything up as long as I gained Bella.

The kiss itself lasted for a manner of seconds as the frenzy threatened to overtake both of us. Before I could take our union further, a distinct voice sounded out in the distance, gaining ground rapidly on our location. At the sound, Bella gasped and pushed herself away from me, ripping my heart from my chest as a small distance was placed between us.

"Oh my god…Mr. Cullen, I'm…"

_No. Don't leave_.

My internal battle raged within as faux Edward fought for dominance with my true self. I rubbed my hands over my eyes and threw them through my hair violently. I opened them to see the piercing gaze of Bella.

Her eyes were filling with tears of frustration as she backed away further, and then dropped her gaze as she frantically searched on the ground for her gear. The ear-splitting sound of the person's annoying banter drew closer.

"No. I will not be seen in that shitty boat. He's a fucking producer and he expects someone like me to grace its presence? He's got another fucking thing coming, that pretentious asshole."

Bella had gathered her things and made haste to move past me. I grabbed her shoulders before she worked her way around me.

"Ms. Swan," her eyes dropped to the floor for the second time in less than 10 minutes – all because of me. Grasping her chin, I lifted it to reconnect with her beautiful eyes. "Bella. Please."

Footsteps could be heard just outside of my yacht.

"Mr. Cullen, let's just pretend that this never happened. I don't want to get you into trouble with…I don't want to get you into trouble," she whispered quickly.

I'm Mr. Cullen again.

_Fix this, Edward!_

"But Bella, there's…" before I could finish, I was cut off by the last person that I wanted to see.

"Absolutely, Riley. I will see you tonight. You better look fucking hot because I won't be seen with anything less."

Heels clicking and the sound of a phone snapping shut announced the arrival of the force that is Rosalie Hale. When she officially boarded the vessel, Bella gazed pleadingly at me, silently asking to let her go. Before I could contest, Bella slipped out of grip and stepped inside of the cabin.

_It's time for business Edward to come out to play._

"Rosalie, you've arrived much too early for me to be ready. You were to arrive hours from now, although it's a pleasure to see you, my dear."

Whoa.

That bullshit was laid particularly thick as fake Edward was back and better than ever.

"Eddie, please. I'm here to tell you that Trinity's people are paying me a shit ton of money to show up and make a scene tonight. Free drinks, drama and dancing at Seattle's hottest nightclub? Yeah…I'll take that over your cute boat. Hope that's okay."

I scowled. "But Rosalie, I don't think that you understand…"

She turned on her ridiculously high heels and called over her shoulder, "Thanks for understanding, Ed!"

I stood slack-jawed as I watched Hurricane Rosalie, as the paparazzi have so adequately dubbed her, strutted away.

_Why are you with her, you dumb fuck?_

I stood silently and tried to think about the events that had occurred in the past couple of minutes. I was grateful that the last tentative guest was gone, at least. However, my dream woman ran from me faster than an Olympic sprinter.

The fantasy of my first kiss with Bella paled in comparison to the real thing. It was…

Enlightening.

All-encompassing.

Life altering.

I could hear her scurrying about in the cabin below and the frustration from the day seeped into my veins, the disease of failure taking control. I looked toward the northwest at the dark, billowing clouds spilling over in the distance. The friendly breeze of the morning turned into a fierce warning. Rosalie's flippant, insensitive words degraded my ego and I chose to prove her, this storm, and everyone wrong.

Without thinking clearly, I untied my yacht and pushed off from the marina.

* * *

**Oh...the drama!**

**Reviews are delectable - I wouldn't mind if you left me one. :) **

**PS - anyone want to rec any good, completed story that they've recently read? Drop me a line. **


	7. Stoic and Logic

**Holy moly, duders. It's been waaaaaaay too long. I hope that you don't hate me too terribly.  
**

**I own no rights to anything Twilight - all are ownership of SM****  
**

I should turn around, I thought.

Every single cell in my body was willing me to navigate south toward Seattle, back to safety. In many of the business classes, in which I excelled, in college, the instructors taught the importance of making business decisions without emotion. Stoic is the goal, logic is the key.

Right now, my decision making ability was equal to that of a five-year-old whose favorite toy was just revoked due to an embarrassingly loud temper tantrum thrown in a retail store.

It's been hours since I left Seattle. When I left, the daunting skies were churning in the distance, leaving me without question that something was coming. The fucking storm apocalypse was pushing forth and was bound and determined to take me down.

The self-loathing real Edward was warring for dominance against the narcissistic douchebag that I've allowed myself to become.

_You hate everything about this_, I told myself. _You hate this yacht. You hate the brand of clothes that you wear. You hate your clients and everything that people assume that you stand for. You hate your apartment, your girlfriend, your boss. _

For the first time in a very long time, I inhaled a shuddering breath and swallowed thickly trying in vain to control the impending tears. The one thing that I didn't hate, the one thing that made me a better man, the one thing that meant more to me than I was even comfortable with verbalizing was the beautiful girl in the cabin below.

I HAD her in my grasp. I tasted her, kissed her, touched her. For the first time in a long, long time, I was...happy. The word itself is a massive understatement. For that thirty second span when my skin touched hers, I wasn't broken. The feeling of falling into bed after a long day, that first dip of the knife into the peanut butter or allowing my fantasies take over as I take an extra, extra, extra long and relieving shower. None of those feelings or experiences compared in any way to how even just the touch of her skin felt against mine.

But I fucked it up.

Again.

_Shut that shit down and turn around, Cullen._

"Fucking hell!" I screamed.

Then, as if God was telling me to go fuck myself, the wind picked up and the rough waters swiftly produced white peaks. The storm reared its ugly head right in the middle of my own personal pity party.

Just my luck.

"Edward?"

She sounded nervous. Bella came out of the cabin donning a life vest and clutching another in her left hand.

"Edward, put this on." She took a few unsteady steps toward me as the yacht swayed back and forth with a fury that honestly scared me. The rain started in, pelting hard against my skin. Bella's hair stuck to her skin, matting against her luminous skin.

A wave crashed against the boat, effectively knocking me on my knees and causing Bella to fall face first to the floor. Lightning electrified the sky followed by a terrifying crack of thunder.

This is the first time that I actually thought that I was going to die.

The thought rolled through my head over and over as the waves crashed against my Jeanneau – hard. With the shit ton of poor choices that I made in a given day, I deserved to die.

Firstly, sailing without checking the god damned weather first. What kind of novice does that?

Secondly, venturing out through the Rosario Strait without one trace of an idea as to where I was going. Idiot.

Thirdly, and most important, putting an innocent life at risk.

I checked all of my guilty counts one by one as I held onto the helm with all of my might, steering through the rain that pelted against my skin. The sun had set and with the weather at its most offensive point, I couldn't see anything but the rotating light in the distance. Another swell crashed against my yacht, spilling water onto the deck. Panic started to creep up in the form of a shiver that radiated in my spine.

"Edward!"

Uselessly wiping the water from my face, I turned toward the voice.

"Head toward the lighthouse!"

I turned away and whimpered to myself.

You're going to die, Cullen. And you deserve to.

I shook my head.

Pull yourself together, you dumb fuck.

The voice cried out again. Such a beautiful voice.

"Edward! Please…the lighthouse is our only chance!"

I froze. I can't explain why I didn't do anything – at all – but I did nothing. I continued blankly steering as if I had nothing to lose. I felt a chilled hand on my face, pulling my line of sight so that I only saw her. Her dark, soaked hair was sticky against her dripping face. Her rich brown eyes held both resolve and fear. I wanted to apologize to this innocent angel, but nothing would come out.

"Oh god, Edward. You're in shock. Can you hear me?"

Her skin felt nice against mine. I leaned into her touch and sighed as I floated away from this hell that I was responsible for. I knew something wasn't right. She was so smart.

"Jesus. Edward, I need you to steer. I can't do this by myself! Wake the fuck up!"

Another swell slammed against the starboard side, separating her skin from mine. Her eyes fell further and further away from me. I heard the voice cry out for me as I slipped away, weightless in the air. My legs were fluid, moving freely as if there was no gravity.

I fell against something hard, something painful. I felt the warmth seep out of my head as the salty cold enveloped me. The lifejacket tried valiantly to keep my afloat, but my consciousness was waning.

The darkness swiftly took me. Although, before it did, one though flitted through my mind. A prayer. More like pleading, bargaining.

Please God. Please help let my angel live.

My Bella.

* * *

More to come, lovelies. What will happen next?

Same Bat channel and all of that business.


	8. Freezing

**So in summary, sullen Cullen gets thrown off of his yacht leaving Bella to fend for herself. What will happen next? ****Thanks for sticking with me, lovelies. More to come...lots more...**

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**Chapter 7: Freezing**

I had the drowning dream often. Somehow, I would be in a situation where I was failing miserably. It could be something as trivial as digging a hole, debating with a family member or a real-life depiction of my day job. No matter the situation, I would be digging, debating or working valiantly, trying in vain to succeed the inevitable failure. Because it was a dream, it was detached and was without sense when the water would come, rising swiftly and taking me under.

Truthfully, real life was no different than my dreams. My lack of action when the storm hit was so very similar to that of my dreams; I just let the water take me. I had always felt resigned to the fact that there was nothing that I could do and I would just give up.

This time was very, very different. She was there, alone, on the ship as I faded into the blackness, engulfed by wave after bone-chilling wave as the storm fought on while I slipped into unconsciousness.

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I awoke, freezing cold, floating haphazardly in the midst of a calming body of water. The storm was still here, generating mild rain and still fierce winds, but was in the process of making its most welcome exit. Rather than floating freely among the waves, I was being gradually pulled east.

"Goddamn it..." a soft voice muttered behind me, one that I recognized immediately. I realized an arm was gripping my chest, gradually dragging me through the water. Rather than asking what had happened, where exactly we were or why she felt the need to help an asshole like me, an unintelligent moan passed through my lips.

"Edward? Edward, say something if you can understand me." Bella gripped me tighter as if that would help me find words. Her legs kicked near mine as my body floated upright, neither helping or making her job any easier.

"Mmmm..." I moaned, unable to form words.

She sighed heavily and held me tighter, whispering more to herself than to me, "Oh thank God you're okay." I revelled in the moment, indulging in her nearness. "Edward, you were thrown off of your yacht by the storm. I think you might have hit your head but I'm not sure. Can you hold still a while longer? We're almost to land..."

"Mmmm..." I responded, a shiver running through me.

"Hang on, hun." Bella sounded winded but resolved. "We're nearly there."

The more she kicked, the more I wished that I were still unconscious. Besides the fact that I was absolutely freezing, I was absolutely mortified. Big, strong Edward had to be rescued by a fucking girl? A girl that he had been too pussy to even make a move on? Fucking Christ, this was embarrassing.

I tested out my arms and legs by moving them in the water, ensuring they were still operational. Realizing that they were, I pushed away from Bella's rescuing arms.

"I can do this by myself." Way to act like a five-year-old, Edward.

She gripped me tighter. "Edward, hang on..."

"No! Let me go!" I yelled, frustrated with how I was acting as well as how I got to be in this situation. I turned my body and freed myself from her.

"With all due respect, Mr. Cullen," clear disdain dripped from her voice. She continued on, "coming from someone who just saved your ass from fucking dying, I suggest that you do what I fucking say. We're twenty yards from shore as it is; show me that you can fucking swim or let me fucking help you." She cleared her throat. "...sir."

_You deserve that. You put her in a position that nearly killed her and you're acting like a petulant dick. _

Turning toward her, I could see very little outside of her silhouette and the rotating beacon of light coming from the lighthouse on the nearby island. Nodding resolutely, I started swimming toward the light as Bella swam just behind me.

A few minutes later, I was exhausted. Breathing heavily, I wished for a cigarette and a nap.

"Mr. Cullen, keep moving. You're almost there." Bella encouraged me.

_Bella, for you...anything. _

Pushing onward, I began to feel the shore at my knees and feet. Crawling gingerly, I left the water and laid on beach, spent and relieved to be on land.

"Not yet, Edward. We have a little further to go..." she sounded exhausted and scared. "...and I can't do this by myself."

Breathing deeply, only for her, I pushed up onto my knees and hands and sat back on my feet. The night was dark and the rain continued to fall, thunder sounding in the distance after the lightning lit up the sky.

Coughing, I spoke raspily, "Where?"

Catching my meaning, Bella pointed at the lighthouse perched delicately on top of a gradual hill. "We're going there."

I nodded and swallowed. _Whatever you say_, I thought. _I only owe you my life..._

What seemed like a long, clumsy hour later, we reached a door near the bottom of the old building. Bella impatiently searched for a large rock after realizing that the door was locked. Finding a suitable one, she slammed the rock against the door handle repeatedly until it gave way, granting us access.

The space was small but ideal for both of us in our current situation. It was dry and there were some old, dusty supplies in the corner. A staircase wound up the building, leading to what I could only assume was the lantern room.

"The living quarters," I said to myself.

Bella nodded and made her way over to the corner, rifling through the pile of what looked like tool boxes and oil rags. I stood and watched, shivering violently as the hypothermia took hold. I squinted through the darkness and checked her whole body for injuries; it appeared as if she had none outside of her mutual shivering.

I continued to shake as the adrenaline wore off. I was becoming tired quickly and I knew that I needed to warm up fast.

"Bella..."

My head nodded as I trembled.

"Hang on, Edward...I think I found a blanket..." Bella hollered to me.

"Sss...ssssooo...cco...cccc...cccccold," I wheezed.

"Thank God! Some luck...Edward? I found a blanket," Bella said, turning to me.

She shook out the blanket and unzipped her life preserver, dropping it to the ground. She stood before me and went to work on my clothes. After ridding me of my life jacket, she deftly unbuttoned my dress shirt, shedding it from my skin.

"I always imagined this scenario differently..." I mumbled.

Bella laughed and reached for my belt buckle, undid it and unzipped my pants.

"You and me both..." she whispered under her breath. "Get your pants off. We need to warm up."


End file.
